My hope is that you are finding peace in your life and giving yourself some grace. I am working on it.
I tend to look at what I haven't accomplished instead of what I have. I pay more attention to how old I have gotten instead of rejoicing in the life I have lived. I sit in despair about what I have lost during this pandemic instead of looking at what I have gained (this would be the perfect spot to comment on my weight, but I won't. lol). When I take time to reflect on my current situation, I realize I have gained a new appreciation for interpersonal contact, for the kindness of others, and the dedication of so many people who make our life more bearable.
I hope you can silence the negative thoughts in your head and look instead for the positive moments. They are there! They are just hidden behind disappointment and uncertainty. But if you look hard enough, you will find them. My biggest hope is that you are well, you have enough food to eat, and you have people you can reach out to. Much love!